I am a student of King David. Of course, I am a student of God’s, but King David seemed to have had God’s heart, so emulating the relationship David had with the Father has always been a desire of mine.
Some of the similarities are obvious. David was red-headed, energetic and likable. David was a musician, the “Sweet Psalmist of Israel.” His songs are brutally honest, filled with life’s best treasures while wrought with such aching pain. We continue to put our own melodies to his poetic lyric. I, too, am a musician, a psalmist. It is my primary gift and my deepest desire: to passionately pursue the presence of God and to help as many people as possible get there too. It is my greatest joy and my highest call.
David was a shepherd boy. However, one must admit, being a songwriter/worshiper is not the same as being a king. Being a worship leader is the not the same as being a pastor either. David is probably the most recognizable “shepherd” in all of scripture. He was born into the role. He was good at it. He was faithful to his earthly father’s flock and would grow into the role of a faithful shepherd over His Heavenly Father’s flock. He would break the mold and all others who followed would be compared to him.
Nearly 20 years ago a colleague dropped a book on my desk entitled, “A Tale of Three Kings” by Gene Edwards. It’s not a long read, but it has proven to be possibly the most valuable of my life and ministry, other than scripture. I have recommended it to many, especially those in leadership. I have revisited it many times. Three years ago, facing one of the darkest times of my life, Edward’s text once again proved to be an anchor of stability and a guidepost on how to proceed through great difficulty.
“A Tale of Three Kings” is an allegorical rendering of the story of King David’s relationships with two other kings: King Saul in his early life, and his own son, Absalom toward the end of his life. Before you get excited and rush out to purchase the book, allow me to warn you…the subtitle of the books reads: “A study in brokenness.” Please proceed with caution.
The prologue is a brief conversation between God and the archangel Gabriel. God instructs Gabriel to distribute two portions of Himself, two destinies awaiting. One portion is outer power, which will eventually reveal true character. The second is described as an “inheritance.” The angel says, “A gift is worn on the outer person; an inheritance is planted deep inside—like a seed.” He goes on to explain, “It must be mixed, lavishly with pain, sorrow, and crushing.”
Sorry…I warned you. If you’re going to take this journey with me, you must be willing to receive the gift along with the crushing. No fun…but necessary.
You see, I wasn’t fully aware of what that meant until a few years ago. Sure, I had been through seasons of trial and testing, but God had always miraculously brought me through. He was an escape, a true Deliverer who had proven Himself over and over strong for every task. He still is…but this time it would be much different, much deeper. This time, the darkness, the fear, the rejection and the hopelessness would be almost more than I could handle. Several themes ran through my psyche: Give up. I quit. Fight back. Defend yourself. Give up…(yes, this one was a biggie!). Slap somebody. Slap yourself. Give up…(there it is again.) Does anyone recognize any of these?
The Lord has released me to start writing about my journey. It’s a story of recovery. It’s a story of healing (still in process). It’s a story of frustration and desperation and heavy-duty wrestling with God. It’s a story of comebacks…a story of hope and gratitude. Most of all…it’s my story…and it’s HIS story. On this side of the valley, I can admit that I’m privileged He allowed me to be part of it. As Garth Brooks sings, “I could have missed the pain, but I’d a had to miss the dance.”
Oh yea…it’s “a study in brokenness.” Yippee!
Stay tuned…more to come…much more…I hope it helps many.