Yesterday I was told a long-time member of our church has decided to leave us for another church. It happens. However, this one seems to sting a bit more. Probably because I was never told. I heard through the grapevine a few vague excuses for their absence the past several weeks. But I never received a call, a text and conversation...even after requesting some time.
I'm sure they have their reasons. A wise mentor once told me, "Never be disappointed with the will of God." But days like today makes that statement a true proclamation of faith...because I'm not feeling it.
It's the not knowing...the mystery of where I may have failed, had a blind spot or unknowingly caused an offense. "Where did I drop the ball?"
Maybe I didn't. Maybe it really is God. Maybe it's them. What did our church not do, not offer, that left their needs unmet? What about all the friendships that they had cultivated here over the years? Do people really just walk away from those bonds so easily? Maybe it wasn't easy for them. Maybe it was.
God knows and He most likely will never tell me.
The first pastor I worked for many moons ago once said, "Whenever someone leaves your church, it's always a bit personal."
He was right. There's always that twinge of failure, the proverbial slap in the face, the personal feeling of rejection.
He'll simply ask me to pray for them and release them into His hands. He loves them more than I ever could. He knows every part of their heart. He knows every part of my heart too.
In the short existence of The Altar, we've seen people come and go. Many of the original core planting team is still here. Many came for a time and moved on. I'm normally fine with that. I find it a privilege to serve whomever God brings for however long they remain. I really do.
But I come back to my original angst: the sin of comparison. I struggle with it as others do. God has done a deep work in me in this area over the years.
Just this morning, not knowing my current malaise, a pastor friend sent me this meme.
Pastor, you may feel inadequate and overwhelmed. But slow down and focus on what God is doing for you, in you and through you. Run your own race. Stay focused on His particular calling for your life and ministry. The ones He has brought to you are there for a purpose much greater than yourself. Serve them well. Love them unconditionally and trust Him every step of the way.
(Wow...I feel much better now.)
